So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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