There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize