Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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