idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
