someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i drank out of a bidet.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
