He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
