yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have tasted many bathrooms
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
