first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
