He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
