There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
