Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
