I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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