Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
