youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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