she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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