So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize