i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
