just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
