She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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