No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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