what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
