So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
North Korea, Best Korea!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
