I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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