I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
