Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
