can we get nightvision for the apartment?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
