Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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