i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
