Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
