thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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