): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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