i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
be right there i have to get my cape
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
