I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
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my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
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Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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