And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
