If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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