Betty ford says i'm here all night
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
