I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i think my cat just said my name.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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