Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
