no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
