do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize