oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize