what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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