She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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