i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
