doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
