fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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