fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
