How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
