I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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