That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
