Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
