he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you made out with another girl for some wings
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
