have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
