dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
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We were destined to go to rehab together
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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