I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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