literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
