Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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