So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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