You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
