Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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