Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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