She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
