where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
