she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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