shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
