i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
the liver wants what the liver wants
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
